Stacked clauses

Stacked

Stacking relative clauses—where a noun is modified by a chain of “linkers” like that or which—is grammatically possible but often rhetorically weak. For professional, opinionated writing, the goal is to increase Information Density and avoid “processing debt” for the reader.

What to look for

• Be careful with “which” and “that.” If you find yourself writing a sentence with two relative clauses in a row, try to collapse one of them to keep the focus on your main topic

The idea that I proposed which deals with liberty…

The idea I proposed regarding liberty…

My proposal on liberty…

• Avoid “buried” topics:

The book I read which tells about the British Empire…

It was the British Empire that the book I read told us about.

Tools

1. Prepositional Reduction (The Category Shift)

This is the most “aggressive” strategy. You replace a full relative clause (that deals with X) with a Prepositional Phrase (on X).

Stacked: "The theory [that he proposed] [which deals with inflation]..."

Reduced: "The theory [he proposed] on inflation..."

Impact: This is the most efficient way to increase density. It removes a pronoun and a verb, making the sentence feel authoritative and direct.

2. Appositive Noun Phrases (The Renaming)

Instead of a relative clause that uses the verb to be (which is X), you use a noun phrase that “renames” the head noun.

Stacked: "The policy [that was passed] [which is a direct response to the crisis]..."

Reduced: "The policy [passed], a direct response to the crisis..."

Impact: It creates a sophisticated, rhythmic pause and is excellent for adding status or definitions without clunky "Wh-" markers.

3. Participial Phrases (The Active Reduction)

You reduce the relative clause to a non-finite phrase using the -ing (present participle) or -ed (past participle) form.

Stacked: "The candidate [who is leading the polls] [who is promising tax cuts]..."

Reduced: "The candidate [leading the polls] and [promising tax cuts]..."

Impact: This turns descriptions into active properties. It is highly effective for stripping away "who is" or "which was" to keep the focus on the action.

4. Adjective Pre-modification (The Flip)

You move one of the descriptive layers to a position before the noun.

Stacked: "The argument [that was presented] [which was logically inconsistent]..."

Reduced: "The logically inconsistent argument [presented]..."

Impact: This is the best tool for simple adjectives or compound traits. It clears the "back-end" of the sentence, preventing a long chain of modifiers.

5. Coordination (The Parallel Alignment)

If you cannot reduce the clauses, you use a conjunction (and/but) to show they are parallel.

Stacked: "The man [I met] [who told me the secret]..."

Reduced: "The man [I met] and [who told me the secret]..."

Impact: This doesn't necessarily shorten the sentence, but it fixes the logic. It stops the second clause from "nesting" inside the first, which makes the sentence easier to process.

Prepositional reduction

To improve the flow and density of a sentence, professional writers often “collapse” the second relative clause into a Prepositional Phrase.

This removes the second verb and the second relative pronoun.

The Mechanism: You identify the primary action or relationship in the second clause and replace it with a functional preposition like on, regarding, with, about, or of.

Examples:

Construction Type	Example Sentence	Impact on Tone
Stacked Clauses	The theory [that he proposed] [which deals with inflation] is flawed.	Wordy and indirect; sounds like a first draft.
Reduced (Preposition)	The theory [he proposed] on inflation is flawed.	Lean and authoritative; high information density.
Stacked Clauses	A policy [which was enacted] [that concerns border security]…	Clunky; creates a “chain” effect.
Reduced (Preposition)	A policy [enacted] regarding border security…	Precise; links the concepts immediately.

Under CGEL analysis, reduction works because it moves information from a clausal level (where you need a subject and a verb) to a phrasal level.

• Eliminates “Wh-” words: It removes the need for which or that, allowing the reader to focus on the nouns and verbs that matter.

• Improves Rhythm: Prepositional phrases allow for a more varied cadence, avoiding the “The X that Y that Z” pattern.

• Strengthens the Link: A preposition often defines the relationship between two ideas more precisely than a generic relative pronoun.

The argument [he made] [which was against the tax]… (stacked)

His argument against the tax…(reduced, even denser: uses a possessive + preposition).

Which tool should you use

If the second clause…	Use this Tool	Example
Defines the topic/subject	Preposition	An essay on logic.
Renames or defines the noun	Appositive	The CEO, a former soldier…
Describes an action/state	Participial	The car idling outside…
Is a simple quality	Pre-modification	The noisy engine…
Is long and complex	Coordination	The plan [we made] and [we executed]…